Our First Year of Marriage. Done and done well! And we could not be happier with what we accomplished, in just one year…So I decided to share a little bit about this milestone in our marriage.
Everyone and anyone that are engaged or newlywed and have conversations about it may know where I come from with this. Because, and tell me if I am wrong, some people made it clear that the first year of marriage is… a war zone. Some might even say “Don’t do it!” Yep, you read that correctly… I cannot emphasize enough on how negative some people where when hubby and I got engaged and headed into a marriage. And it broke my heart…
Our experience as an engaged couple.
It was at a stage so bad, that we decided to leave our church group – that was created for engaged couples soon to be married – but the leaders – which were married to each other by the way… – couldn’t stop talking about how hard it is, what a challenge it is, “If you only make it through the first year, you’ll be fine” and so on… Not once mentioning the good of it all… So, you can imagine how our, oh so in love hearts felt.
Hubby and I decided right then and there that we are not going to speak of it to anyone anymore. We decided to keep the excitement alive, rather than listening to all the negative comments. I for one will never speak down to marriage, and I believe, if you feel that you cannot otherwise than to be all negative about it…you’re not married to the right person!
Our opinion on the Marriage.
The married life is supposed to be an amazing experience full of new adventures and dreams and visions…TOGETHER! I mean it is a forever sleepover (with benefits may i ad…? – wink, wink!) with your BEST FRIEND! C’mon, what more does anyone want???
And this is exactly what it has been like for hubby and me in our first year of marriage. We are building a business together. We bought a house together, that we can surely call home. We have all these exciting ideas for our home, that we cannot wait for the next weekend so we can spend time creating our safe haven. We have all these great ideas and dreams, we both put in all we can to make it all a reality.
Things we learned.
Now, no! I am not here to say that marriage is 100% sorted and fun at ALL TIMES. It does have it’s ups and downs, yea, BUT remember…It is two separate people that need to become One in Christ. That needs to build one life, together. So, compromise is a necessity in marriage. Communication is a necessity in marriage. Support is a necessity in marriage. These are all so so important in order to build a marriage that has 10 000 more positive moments than any negative moment.
These are things we have learned in our first year of marriage. And I definitely think…no! I KNOW that we deserve a pat on the back for learning these things so quickly! But the thing is… we were willing to figure it out. Willing to see what works and what doesn’t. Willing to learn to listen…and not just listen, but understand what our spouse needs and wants.We were married for only about 7 months when the Lockdown was implemented in South Africa during the 2020 Covid-19 World Pandemic. Read here my experience of the early stages of Lockdown
From then on, people might even refer to it as forced, but we see it as BLESSED to be stuck at home with our spouse. Now, if the first year was supposed to be soooo difficult, surely this is the worst thing to happen to a newly married couple so soon!? Or what? I call B@!!$#&?.
How we experienced Lock down as a newlywed couple.
Hubby and I had the time of our life. With him working next to me in the office. We could give hugs WHENEVER we wanted (something we know not to take for granted EVER as we had to face the dreadful Long Distance Relationship in the past), we could speak and hear each other, we could support each other whenever it was necessary, we could celebrate each other’s small and big victories together, and so on and so forth.
When he had to go back to the office on a regular basis, it was quite horrible. Because we had to go back to “normal” and I must be honest, even though I still see him every afternoon and wake up next to him every morning….I miss his continuous presence in our home that I was so blessed with for a few months on end. Sometimes, I even wish we could do it again.
Conclusion for the reader.
Now, if you are reading this article, and you are engaged/to be engaged/to be wed or newlywed…Please don’t focus on the negativity in the world out there. Create your own story, your own perception of the life of a married couple. Build it as you would like it to be…and build it TOGETHER!
There is a saying that states, we only realize what we had, until we lost it…do not allow this to be your reality! Know what you have and what you were blessed with, at the moment, and care for it with all your heart and soul. Marriage is not just a ring or a piece of paper…it is a journey that you and your spouse walk TOGETHER! Enjoy it, work at keeping it safe, and be forever grateful for your spouse!
What is your opinion on the first year of marriage, or marriage as a whole? Let us know in the comments and let us chat about it! Adios!