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Christian Woman General Wife Life

Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2020

Valentine’s Day Origin

Do you even know why Valentine’s Day is a thing? I know I didn’t and I decided to read a little up on it to see where it all started. It turns out that there are many legends around this day declared Valentine’s Day (St. Valentine’s Day actually…).

I assume If I do more research I am sure I will find the exact history, but all the legends that I read so far are very romantic and it wouldn’t bother me, if any of them were the true origin of the day…

The legend that stood out for me was the one who told the following story:

It is about an imprisoned St. Valentine – who restored the sight to the blind daughter of his judge – who sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with this young girl. Apparently she visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that we are all familiar with to this day .

It shows that love will find you wherever you are. And it seems like it will find you when you least expect it…

Love at first sight

To elaborate on this matter… Yes! Love at first sight does exist. I had that experience myself, and today I am married to him. Hubby and I met and both had the “Love at First Sight” experience. I can remember that night as if it happened last night.

It was a friends Birthday and she invited us all to celebrate it with her at a club in Pretoria. I must be honest, I didn’t really want to go that night, but eventually decided to go… LUCKILY I DID!

The funny story here was that Hubby was a friend of a boyfriend of one of my friends that came along that night. And both Hubby and I were being set up with two completely different people, but when I saw him (Hubby now)… I was immediately attracted to him and I din’t want to know anything about any one else.

So we connected and chatted the night away. Btw…Hubby spoke about eeevery topic that one is not supposed to on a first date or meeting. I remember he even told me that he wanted 7 kids… Haha. But it was this quality of him that kept me intrigued.

We went on a couple of dates after that night.A few months went by and he asked me to make it official with him so that we can be a couple. Obviously, I said yes. A few years went by and he asked me to marry him. And now we are as happy as can be!

Back to the topic on Valentine’s Day

Before Hubby, I wasn’t a big fan of Valentine’s Day because I didn’t really have anyone to spend it with. And you know in school these things tend to bother you quite a lot if every one else has “Valentines” or “Secret admirers“… but you don’t…

I can remember the emotions I had back then as if it didn’t happen that long ago. “Am I not good enough?”“Am I not pretty enough?”“Why can’t I also feel how it feels to find a secret admirer note in my locker?”… and so many more thoughts that went through my head.

Luckily when I left school I left those thoughts behind and decided to focus on me and my future for once. I realized that I don’t need to rely on any one to be happy, but myself – and God obviously. And that is actually a great life lesson that I would tell my younger self if I had the opportunity now…

Love finds a way

So with this mindset I broke connections with toxic relationships after school, and ended up with ONE true friend – a really precious friend to this day. I had a gap year and started helping out at the Equestrian Yard where I had riding lessons at the time. I was just a helping hand there and I had lessons, and loads of time to myself.

Here, I started to reconnect with myself – ignoring Valentine’s Day all the way – and I realized what I wanted to do with my life now. I signed up to Study Equestrian Sciences and threw all of me into my studies the next year. Here I made new connections and friendships including the friend I mentioned earlier that invited me to celebrate her Birthday at the club with her… Now, can you see where I am going with this? This is where I met hubby.

But, as God would want it, my course took me to the Western Cape for my 3rd Practical and Final year of the studies. Oh, no! I just met the love of my life – btw, AFTER Valentine’s Day – and we just made it official and now I need to move across the country to pursue my dreams – again, btw, BEFORE the next Valentine’s day. Haha. So Valentine’s Day wasn’t even a reality in the year I met Hubby!

Another Year without Valentine’s Day

I left with a heavy heart, but we both knew this was on the way, because I knew before I met Hubby and before we made it officially a couple thing, that I will be moving to the Western Cape for a year… Long Distance Relationship much?! A story for another day…

So when I was in the Cape I couldn’t celebrate Valentine’s Day with my love…again…and therefor we just lived past it…again… If I recall correctly – and I am sure Hubby would agree, because he brings it up quite often… ha ha – I actually went for coffee with a guy and one of my girl friends on Valentine’s Day that year… I didn’t realize this until Hubby told me.

I actually didn’t remember that it was Valentine’s Day on the 14th of February, funny enough. It could be because I was so busy that year and time flew past me without me even realizing it… And I didn’t really care for Valentine’s Day in the last couple of years. It was just another day.

I do however remember that I took him to the Klipdrift Brewery when he came to visit in March that year. This was a more precious moment to remember than Valentine’s Day!

(Btw, this was also the year when I reconnected with God on a completely different level. A spiritual level and I even got baptized in the ocean that year. I will post about this journey in the future!)

Remembering Valentine’s Day

The year went by and I started realizing that I WOULD FINALLY BE ABLE TO CELEBRATE VALENTINE’S DAY WITH LOVEY like the rest of the world.

Little did I know that when I moved back to Pretoria and that Valentine’s Day finally came around, I wouldn’t actually worry about it as much as I thought!? Because, why show your love to your significant other JUST on this day? Why get all these material things such as teddy bears, or chocolates, or jewelry just to feel loved?

Just the actual fact that I could be with him was above my expectations. We did celebrate Valentine’s Day, but we decided not to give each other gifts and have an expensive dinner. So, we celebrated on a blanket in his room with Wine and Pizza and candles… Can it get any better?

Gifts or no gifts on Valentine’s Day?

No to “YOU HAVE TO” give gifts on Valentine’s Day, I say. Because things are too expensive and they tend to give joy just for a few seconds. Showing someone you love them with your words and deeds can do so much more.

However – and this is touching on a complete different subject that we will discuss in the future as well – if your partner’s primary love language is Receiving Gifts then sure, go ahead!!! Because this way you are sure that this is what they want. But, if it’s not their love language then I suggest you find out what their love languages are and show your love to your partner that way, then you know you will not fail them.

My final conclusion on Valentine’s Day

The whole idea around Valentine’s Day and showing your love to your significant other, family and friends is a GREAT IDEA! Because it gives everyone that little push to be positive and loving on that day. BUT...I would say that this shouldn’t be a thing for ONE day in the year. It should be a thing every day of the year.

The problem with days like this, is that it can become commercialized VERY EASILY and people tend to fold under this society pressure. Because, some people measure your love for them on the (material) gift you give, forgetting that a simple word such as “LOVE” has so much more power than things. The phrase “I Love You” has been so diluted and overused that we cannot seem to connect it to the power it holds.

Valentine’s Week Challenge

I challenge you, my readers, to show your Hubby/Wifey, friends and family how much you love and care for them WITH WORDS AND DEEDS for at least one whole week. We are beings that wants to HEAR how much we mean to someone. And we appreciate the effort people do for us. The whole material gifts thing is just touching the surface because it is ACTUALLY not what we want.

If i can use myself as an example, I LOVE it when, for example, I get home and hubby washed the dishes once in a while – Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want him to do it always because I know I am the woman and wife of the house and it is my biblical duty to serve and care for my Hubby.

But, once in a while is fine by me. When Hubby says he loves me, my heart skips a beat! So, no I do not want things from him, I want his love and compassion. And I want it every day of the year, not JUST on Valentine’s Day. And I want to give my love and compassion to him EVERY DAY!

Your Views on Valentine’s Day

Remember this is all my opinion and you could disagree. Tell us in the comments, what is your views on Valentine’s Day???

Also, here is a little Valentine’s Day gift… Send it to your Hubby!

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